Brown Girl Empowered

How to Build Hope in Hard Times

Manpreet Dhaliwal Season 1 Episode 11

Can hope be your secret weapon for achieving life’s goals, even in the face of adversity? Join us as we unravel the profound impact of hope, guiding you through actionable strategies to cultivate it in your daily life. We'll explore the essence of hope beyond mere optimism, dissecting its three pillars: goals, pathway thinking, and agency. Learn how setting tangible goals, brainstorming multiple pathways, and fostering the confidence to act can enhance your academic performance, physical health, and overall life satisfaction. We’ll delve into methods for challenging cognitive distortions and leveraging your personal strengths to navigate obstacles.

Ever wondered how to maintain hope when life gets tough? Discover the transformative power of persistence and positive thinking as we delve into coping strategies for adversity. By starting small and celebrating manageable victories, you can build the momentum needed to tackle more significant challenges. We'll share heartwarming stories, practical tips for staying present, and the importance of surrounding yourself with positivity. Plus, learn to combat isolation by reconnecting with loved ones and limiting negative influences. Tune in to rekindle your hope and find the energy and motivation to achieve your personal goals. Follow us and leave a review if these insights resonate with you!

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Speaker 1:

Today's episode is all about how you can cultivate hope. Hope does not mean we think that there is going to be a positive ending for sure. Instead, it means that we are motivated to pursue a goal or outcome, regardless of whether there will be an ending that is positive. Hope does not mean thinking that everything is all rainbows and butterflies, but it's having this understanding that we are going to move to act to reach our goals, despite the obstacles we face. Hope is different from optimism in that, instead of thinking that good things will occur, we believe that we ourselves can bring forth the outcome that we desire.

Speaker 1:

Hope has three concepts or three different parts Goals, pathway thinking and agency. Goals are incredibly important when engaging in hopefulness. Goals that you think of can be big or even small. A goal can be going for a walk for 20 minutes a day, or a goal can be as big as completing your degree or your master's degree. Pathway thinking is this ability to think up of several different paths to meet a goal. Too often, we think that there is only one pathway to get to our goal. However, like we can take many different routes to get to our destination, we can take many different pathways to reach our goal Agency is this feeling of being energized and motivated, as well as feeling confident that we will reach our goal.

Speaker 1:

Research has found that hope leads to better academic achievement, better physical health, lower risk of cancer, fewer sleeping problems and better life satisfaction in those with chronic illnesses. So this begs the question how do we build hope? Hope is built when we start living with this belief that there is always hope, regardless of how many obstacles or challenges one faces. We believe that there is always hope. We need to understand that when we feel the opposite, that is, hopelessness, we are probably engaging in a false mindset. This false mindset is called cognitive distortions. Cognitive distortions can include fortune telling or jumping to conclusions. When we engage in fortune telling, we are automatically jumping to a conclusion about the future without reflecting on the true facts, because when we often do this, the facts do not link to the conclusion. We also don't consider other possible outcomes as we start believing that our fortune-telling belief is fact rather than a cognitive distortion ourselves. What is the evidence for our thought, that is, our fortune-telling thought, and what is the evidence against our fortune-telling thought?

Speaker 1:

Another thing is it's important to let your goals energize you and view them as challenges in order to build hope. And the way you can let your goals energize you is you can visualize how it will look like when you reach your goal. Let this visualization make you feel excited and taking on challenges. Be creative in thinking of many different ways you will be able to get to your goal. Do not be so stuck on one way to reach your goal or reach your destination. Instead, create different routes you can take to reach your goal or your mission.

Speaker 1:

Try to increase your motivation by taking a piece of paper or grab your journal right now and start thinking of the strengths that you have. Make a list. Then think of how these strengths will help you overcome the obstacles and reach your goals. You can also think of when you face similar obstacles and how you overcame those obstacles. What strengths did you use?

Speaker 1:

Understand that there will always be challenges, that your goals will take courage and effort. Persist regardless. Listen, the situation may become stressful or difficult, but you got to remember that you have developed coping strategies in the past to deal with the stress. You, in your past, have dealt with obstacles and, as a result, you develop those coping strategies and likewise, you will develop further coping strategies positive coping strategies in the future to deal with difficult situations. Another example Another important fact that you got to understand is to build your confidence and to energize you towards your goals.

Speaker 1:

You got to start with the small goals first. Meeting these small goals first will build your confidence and energize you to take on the bigger goals. Think of taking one step first instead of taking on all the tasks required to reach your goal. Each day, you can take on one task to reach your goal. Ensure your goals are realistic, but at the same time, try to keep your goals high. Too often we aim too low. Too often we aim too low, we don't understand our potential. So try to see your potential and try to reach your goals. Research has also found that laughter can increase the hope we have, so watch some comedy when you feel hopelessness. Another thing you can do is read the biography of others who have faced great odds, persevered and reached their goals.

Speaker 1:

Try to see around people who are positive, those who believe in the beauty of your dreams and the beauty of a better tomorrow. When I say this, I don't mean remove all the people who don't believe in you, who are negative, from your life. Just have a healthy balance and don't allow those naysayers to get the best of you. See different views and try to look at life through a more objective lens. Try to focus on the present moment. Look at what you can do, not what you can't do.

Speaker 1:

Don't spend time worrying about the past or the future. Look at what lays in front of you. Sometimes we get overwhelmed. That's okay. When you get overwhelmed with the past, you will get paralyzed with fear and anxiety and you won't move much. However, when you stay focused on only what's in front of you, you will remain in a positive state of mind and be able to take constructive action. So, when you start thinking about the past, bring yourself to the present moment and move to the future. Try to focus on what you can control rather than what you cannot control. If your circumstances are not that great, you can control your character. If you cannot move around physically because your movement is limited due to, for example, being in prison, you can read a book and expand your mind. There are always things we can control, despite where we are in life, and it is up to us to figure out how to lift ourselves up when there are things not under our control. Also, cultivate gratitude when you go to bed, write three things you're grateful for. Close your eyes and bring those things to your imagination. Say those things that you are hopeful for, or you can also close your eyes and think of something that has happened in the past and thank and bless that memory.

Speaker 1:

Personally, I remember a time I had low hope and what really helped me was connecting with friends and developing a nice bond with a friend of mine. She then gave me these comedy CDs which I would listen to, and these comedy CDs made me start to laugh when I listened to them. When laughing, I felt lighter and I felt hope within my heart. After that really difficult time Before that, when I was younger and had some naysayers around me telling me I couldn't achieve things, I would listen to motivational speeches that gave me energy and lifted me up. I also surrounded my desk space with quotes that were motivational and really encouraging. I also listened to music for hope. I would use music to help to encourage myself and strengthen that positive, encouraging voice that said I could achieve what I wanted to achieve when others would try to discourage me. Don't get me wrong. My parents were very encouraging, but there were other individuals who would come around who were very discouraging.

Speaker 1:

That is life. You're going to have naysayers around you, but you can use music to uplift you, like I did when I put on uplifting music. The music would uplift me and give me hope. So here's an idea for you Think of songs that bring you hope.

Speaker 1:

Make a playlist and go back to that playlist every time you are needing to bring hope to your soul. But you're saying Manpreet, those were different times. There's so much darkness in the world right now, I know. Here's how you can deal with the darkness going on in the world. Take a break from the news. Limit the amount of news you consume. Try not to watch the news before bedtime so you won't be sleeping with troubling thoughts at night. When you sleep, when you prepare to sleep, you want to relax yourself and be in a more positive state. Take a break from whatever you're doing to ground yourself. Maybe have some plants in your workplace, or go for a walk on your break and look at the flowers. Or, if it's winter time, take some time to look at the rain or the snow that is falling. Try to take in the beauty that surrounds you and do this by shifting your focus.

Speaker 1:

Another way you can lift your hope through your own individual actions is to be kind. Your kindness will give a feedback loop. When you're kind to others, you also feel warm and positive feelings yourself. Now let's also talk about what kills hope. One of the things that harms the hope you have is thinking of things in extremes. When we think of extreme, we think of always and never good and bad, villain and hero. When we think in this way, we start to believe that individuals are one-dimensional instead of understanding the complexities of what it means to be a human, and so you also end up seeing yourself as one dimensional, one character playing one role. So to move away from this, you need to see individuals having different complex traits, roles and situations, having a variety of possibilities excluding always or never. Excluding always or never.

Speaker 1:

Another thing that kills hope is isolation. When you isolate yourself, your thoughts are impacted. You might experience more anxiety when you leave your house because you're so used to isolating yourself, and through your isolation, distrust may take on form and depression may increase. In fact, studies have also linked loneliness with depression. So try to decrease your level of isolation by re-engaging with those around you. Turn off the news and try to call a friend or your favorite aunt. Shift your focus and engage with others. Build your hope, because hope energizes you, hope takes you to your goals and hope allows you to see that you have agency in building a better tomorrow for yourself and for others. I hope this episode was helpful for you and if you liked this episode, please press follow. Please leave a review.

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