Brown Girl Empowered
Welcome to Brown Girl Empowered the self-help podcast that blends insightful guidance with real-life stories, hosted by Manpreet Dhaliwal, a Brown South Asian psychotherapist with a passion for helping you thrive. In each episode, Manpreet dives deep into powerful topics like mental health, breakups, self-love, confidence, leadership, and more, offering practical tools and heartfelt advice to empower you on your personal growth journey.
Whether she’s sharing her expertise solo or featuring inspiring guests, Manpreet’s mission is to help you break free from limiting beliefs and step into your true power. With her warm, relatable style and years of experience as a therapist and educator, Manpreet is here to guide you towards a life of authenticity, resilience, and self-compassion.
Tune in, transform your mindset, and unlock the best version of yourself with Brown Girl Empowered.
About Manpreet Dhaliwal:
Manpreet is a brown woman who holds a Master’s in Social Work and a Bachelor of Arts. With years of experience, she’s dedicated to making mental health resources accessible and relatable for all.
Manpreet Dhaliwal has worked as a therapist for many years and has served as a college instructor in British Columbia.
Instagram: ManpreetDhaliwal.88
Email: dhaliwalcounselling@gmail.com
Psychotherapy Services: www.dhaliwalcounselling.com
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Brown Girl Empowered
Breaking Mental Health Stigmas in South Asian Communities: Feat Sukhpreet Mann
Mental health remains one of the most misunderstood aspects of wellness in South Asian communities. The prevailing attitude that "if it's not physical, it's not there" has created barriers for countless individuals seeking support for their psychological wellbeing.
In this deeply personal conversation with mental health therapist Sukhpreet, we explore the unique challenges South Asians face when navigating mental health concerns. Sukhpreet shares her professional expertise alongside her own journey with anxiety, offering a compelling perspective on why seeking help is a sign of strength rather than weakness.
"Family reputation shouldn't come at the cost of your wellbeing," Sukhpreet explains. "Ask yourself: is it better to suffer internally while worrying about what society thinks, or to find positivity from within?" This powerful reframing helps listeners understand that their personal health should take precedence over societal expectations that no longer serve them.
We dive into common misconceptions about therapy. Sukhpreet dispels these myths while offering practical, accessible approaches to mental wellness that honor cultural backgrounds.
Perhaps most valuable is Sukhpreet's guidance on breaking free from comparison cycles fueled by social media. "You can never make everyone happy," she reminds us, "but the most important person you can make happy is yourself." This conversation offers both validation and practical tools for anyone seeking to prioritize their mental health while navigating cultural expectations.
Instagram: @manpreetdhaliwal.88
Emails, questions:
Dhaliwalcounselling@gmail.com
Services: www.dhaliwalcounselling.com
Psychology Today Profile:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/therapists/manpreet-dhaliwal-surrey-bc/332001
Hi everyone, welcome back to this podcast episode Today. I welcome Sukpreet. Sukpreet has her Master's of Arts in Counseling Psychology. She is a mental health therapist and I'm so excited to have her on this episode. So welcome Sukpreet.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much, manpreet, for having me. Thank you so much, manpreet, for having me.
Speaker 1:I'm so happy, so excited to start this discussion on mental health in South Asian communities. So you've done work in this field, you have your experience, you have your, you know, knowledge, your expertise. So I'm wondering what your thoughts are about the unique mental health challenges that South Asians face within the communities.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that there's, especially like the South Asian community, I feel like there's a lot of stigma around it. If it's, you know, growing up it was always you learned like if it's not physical, it's not there, and so I think that's something that I've been trying to break. That's why I'm doing the like, the work that I am and in the field that I am, because I do believe that, like you know, it doesn't have to be physical. You could be, you know it could be internal and it will.
Speaker 2:Mental health is internal. So, like you know you for anything, you, if you need to get help, you need to get help and there's nothing wrong with asking for that. So, you know, that idea of like, even if someone has mental health and then they reach out to get help, well, you know you're you late. Society labels them a certain way that you know they could be like you know, oh, why can't you just figure this out on your own or something? So it's about breaking those barriers and just kind of, like you know, moving past that and let's see, like you know, maybe you know it, maybe it's like something that you need to do for like a couple, like short term, not long term, but it's something that definitely, like a lot of people need to read about and gain more like knowledge about it, in order to make those decisions rather than put someone down who's already reaching out for help.
Speaker 1:So the stigma is there when it comes to mental health in communities, in South Asian community, and that's what keeps a lot of individuals from reaching out to get help. And so what can be done about this? In terms of the stigma You're saying it's the importance of providing knowledge. You know, changing the way we look at mental health. You know there's this idea of not only the stigma but the family reputation being put at stake when it comes to, you know, being open about mental health challenges when trying to get the services one might need, whether it's counseling, whether it's a more severe illness that needs, you know, assistance for treating. So how to challenge that concept of? You know, don't put the family's reputation in jeopardy. So what are your thoughts on that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, like, of course, like with the South Asian community, like we, it's heavily weighed on the family's reputation. Right, like everything you do, you have to consider twice about your family and like how it will impact them. So I completely understand, like, even when parents say that, or like when grandparents or anybody, for a matter of fact, says that. I do understand that. But I think it's also important to remember that um, is it better to suffer internally than to like while worrying about what society will think? Or is it better to change yourself and like, have that positive positivity come from within you, while while not worrying about what society thinks? Because I um, like I live a lot of my life about, um, how how do I feel if, like you know, there's a um like I will share something, but, um, you know, I'm for me, like I'm 33 years old and I am not married yet and that's not something that I am like. Yeah, it's something that's in the back of my mind, but it's not something I'm worried about. And, like the community, like I know, when I go to, like you know, weddings and people are like you're next, and I'm like like cool, but you know, like it's like okay, but that's not something I have set for myself. And yeah, like, of course, it bothers me that, like my parents feel a certain way, but I can't I can't do anything to help them. So in my situation, I'm looking at it as like, what do I want? What are my goals for myself? And my goals for myself are like to achieve things with my field of study, for instance. I'm very, like, passionate about all of this. So I think, like for me to put that into this drive is what keeps me going right.
Speaker 2:So, with everyone else, I think, like I know it's easy for me to say it, but I think, like worrying about society is like the least of our worries. They're always going to have something to talk about. There's always going to be something that they're going to be upset about. Or, you know, you can add a few kilos on and people will look at you and be like, why are you? Like you know you should stop eating.
Speaker 2:Like you will never make everyone happy, but the most important person you can make happy is yourself, and you can do it for yourself because you deserve it. You deserve to be able to wake up every morning and have this energy where you're. Like you know I want to really get through today and I want to do this, this, this. Like you know, you'll obviously have downs. Like, don't get me wrong. Like there will always be times where you feel okay. Like you know, I feel low today and that's normal. But the first and foremost step that you can take for yourself is to be like I need help where you need it and ask for it, and there's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like you said, it's a never ending battle with, like the community. You know you can never win. It's best to, you know, gift a gift of whatever you need, whether it's counseling, whether it's living your life on your own terms to yourself. And so, for individuals who battle, you know the constant feedback regarding you know whether it's you should live your life this way, or whether it's what are you doing. Why are you speaking about? You know your health in the community, or why are you seeing a counselor? Why are you spreading the family? You know information about the family in the community. What would you say to that person?
Speaker 2:I would actually, honestly, that's such a good question because a lot of people have that no-transcript of that. Why is it such a you know big stigma around? Oh, you're going to see a therapist, yeah, there's like there should not be anything wrong with that. If someone questions, oh, why are you going to see a therapist? For instance, you know, I want, I hope one day in our community, like South Asian community, it'll be normal to be like, yeah, I'm going, I have anxiety. So, like you know, you go to the doctor when you you know you have a cold, or like you can't, you know something's like I don't know.
Speaker 1:Like you, yeah and doctors are very like um respected, so why not the mental health field as well, right?
Speaker 2:yeah, exactly like. It's not so hard to give it the same respect like it is. It is something that people struggle with, like, if you look at her, you know nowadays, if you look at the suicide rates, like you know, they're skyrocketed and they're coming out with more and more like, more and more cases are being introduced. Why, why can't we get them the help that they need? Why are we waiting till they do something to themselves and they're not here with us to be like? Oh, I wish she told us we could, or he told us we could have helped them? Like, you know what I mean. Like, why wait till they're gone? Why not do something?
Speaker 2:Like, if you see your loved one struggling, why don't you you don't have to, maybe you don't have to come see a therapist why don't you be that person that, like, they can talk to, that they can turn back to without pointing a finger at them? So that's, I think that's important as well. Like, if you don't want to see a therapist, it's not that you have to see one, but if you know that you're like, if your sibling, your parents, they're struggling, be there for them. Try to be there for them. Right, like, be that shoulder that they can lean on and tell you their problems. But that's I think that's something that like people, a lot of people, will say, yeah, but I don't have time. Nobody has time. You have to make time right, like, yeah, you have jobs people do nine to five, but then what about after five? You can take out like 10 minutes of your time to sit with someone who you know is struggling. 10 minutes will make a huge difference.
Speaker 1:Exactly, yeah, and, like you said, like if it improves, like getting the help or being there or having someone be there for you you know it might be hard to reach out, but once you do, that can improve your quality of life. So, like, I feel like that's way more important than you know what other people might say just that improvement in the quality of your life and how you're feeling day to day, it's so important. Yeah, yeah, and there's so many different ways of treatments and healing approaches. What are you? I think you already spoke to this a bit what are some misconceptions about mental health in the South Asian community? I think one is like if you're seeing a counselor, then something has to be really wrong, whereas you know you can go to counseling for growth, for self growth. But what are some other misconceptions in the South Asian community?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I definitely think, like you know, I want to add to what you just said is that you know they think that if you're going to see a therapist, that there's something wrong with you that you know, you know you got to fix it or like whatever that might look like for someone. But the thing is like sometimes it might not be anything right Like someone, but the thing is like sometimes it might not be anything right, like you might just want to talk to someone who's not, who, who doesn't know you and who you don't know, and you know they won't judge you, they'll create a safe space for you to open up and feel comfortable, right, so that I think that that's another thing is like I wanted to add there that you know it's not doesn't have, there has to be nothing. You maybe just want to talk to someone because you had a really crappy day or a week or a month, right, and you just want to let go of that steam. So that's why you go talk to them. Another one is like the big one that I feel is like when I've seen some people, they'll be like they'll come see you for like two or three sessions and they're like, well, I don't feel any different.
Speaker 2:I do want to let you guys know that, like therapy, like it takes time, it's not it. You can make it a short term commitment, but it is like you will see progress as you do it and like whatever you talk about in the sessions, whatever like homework you take away from it, you have, like you have to get yourself to do it right. The more you do it, the more you'll see. Oh, my god, like you'll see. Oh, I changed there. You know. Like you know, before I used to have negative thoughts, but now I'm thinking more positively. So, like it does, the change does come from within you and you bring that change right, but it takes time for it to come. It doesn't and you bring that change right, but it takes time for it to come. It doesn't happen overnight. So I think that's another misconception people have is when they don't see the results right away, they're like, well, it's not working, you got to give it time and you got to stick with it, and that's when you'll be able to see the results as well.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think you raise such a good point that it's a safe space that's created for you to discuss, you know, whatever may be in your mind, whatever thoughts you may have to discuss that and let it be confidential, right? You don't want, you might not want what you're facing or your family's facing to be out in the community. So what a great space, a confidential space to discuss that rather than you know. Great if you're getting support from family members or whatnot. But if you're fearful of gossip and you know information going around like that, then what a beautiful safe space that is created for you, whether it's in a counselor's office or, let's say, even a doctor's office or a psychiatrist's office, that safe space that is so important. So the confidentiality.
Speaker 2:It's like with any therapist that you'll go see any, like, um, psychologist, psychiatrist, it's um, you know, your confidentiality is the most important to us and anything you say will be kept in confidential, like confidentiality, unless there's like imminent harm to yourself or to others, or like if we're bound by like the court of law and we're subpoenaed, then we release it. But it's not like, oh, we, um, we'll go tell, like even our families, like we, you know liability. We don't do that and we know how hard it is for you to open up once you walk through those doors. It's never easy to pour out your emotions or feelings in in front of a complete stranger. It's like 100%, never easy.
Speaker 2:But the fact that you do, that you're taking that step to go see someone and, like you're pouring your feelings and emotions out, we, we know how hard that is and that's why we give it 100% in our sessions that we're with them, that you know, to make that safe environment, to make you feel that you know, yeah, you can open up without us judging you. There's no judgment. There's no, you know, pointing fingers or like talking behind your back about what you've talked about. It's genuinely that one hour is for you to get release what's, whatever's inside of you, whatever trauma, anxiety, whatever is built up inside of you. Just let those feelings pour out and then you know. From there you do the work Like you're the one that's guiding yourself through all of this and we're just there to to be a second pair of eyes. You know like that.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, that's yeah, what a gift to give yourself, to unload all those emotions you may have or you know, traumatic experiences, and you may. The person may be carrying it with them for such a long time, but to be able to open up in a safe space, in a confidential space, what a gift it is to give to yourself and to help your quality of life, your day-to-day life. I mean, yeah. So yeah, counseling and therapy wonderful. What are other cultural practices one can incorporate in their healing that respects their cultural background, while also, you know, making use of these resources?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So you know, if, obviously, like we know, that counseling can be very expensive, right, like it can range from different prices, but if you have insurance, like it does benefit it. But if you don't have it, I think, like you know, just finding you're right, finding these resources within the community, can help you as well. Like, for instance, if you're, you know, just at home as well. Like, for instance, if you're, you know, just at home, you're I don't know, like you stay home 24, seven. You're trying to find a job, especially with Canada. Like in Canada, we're going through a recession, right, it's hard to get jobs, so you're stuck at home trying to look for one.
Speaker 2:Well, one thing you can do is maybe go outside, take a walk, like, go for a walk. It could be five, 10 minute walk, but that'll make a huge difference and that's free, like you're not paying for it. You're just taking yourself outside, right, even when it's cold outside. Maybe, you know, limit it to five minutes. Maybe walk to your mailbox and grab the mail, like that's still you doing something, right? In other terms, like I do think, like going to the temple.
Speaker 2:Like you know, no matter what god you worship, right, go to the temple and like sit there for a couple of minutes and just like absorb it. If you're like, if that's how you find there what you find therapeutic, that's something that definitely like. And if you can't go, because I understand if you don't have a car or you don't want to take the transit, you know everybody has a phone nowadays or there's a tv at home, just like listen to some music, or like put on some like kirtan or like whatever you find therapeutic, just listen to that. Like you know for myself, I enjoy baking. So I always when I'm baking, so I always when I'm baking, I listen to music and I have it blaring on blast and that's just like my, my time, my space.
Speaker 2:So you have to find something that is like for you to do and that like ties into your self care, right, like, whatever. However, you find that 1015 minutes it can be longer. I'm just saying 10-15 because I know a lot of people say but there's no time, there's, you just have to make time. Right, it's what I've said in the past too. See, you know, just put, maybe put in headphones and, just like you know, as you're baking, listen to your music while, and then you'll get into the rhythm, like you know, it'll make you feel better as well. But another thing that a lot of my colleagues I've seen them do is like journals. So maybe that's effective as well, right, like, if you find it difficult to pour your feelings out in front of a stranger, like you don't want to, you're not ready to talk yet, that's okay. Grab yourself a book and a pencil and like, just journal your feelings and then don't worry about like the pages, because nowadays you can like you can throw that away or like burn it. Like you know it, it's just for your eyes. Whatever you want to do, whatever makes it easy for you to, you know, get your feelings and emotions out so that they're not being built up inside of you and like these things that I've mentioned. They're like they're free of cost, obviously inside of you and like these things I've mentioned, they're free of cost.
Speaker 2:Obviously Some of them might have some cost related to them, but if that's something that is a struggle for you finances, then maybe look, there's so many resources you can utilize that will help you. Like, for instance, going to the public library. You know you don't have to pay to sit there and you can sit there. You can read a book or, like you know, get into a hobby or you know, just go there and maybe what you want to do is just, like you know, sit and people watch. You can do that too. You can go to a coffee shop and buy yourself a cup of coffee and treat yourself and like just people watch. There's nothing wrong with that. A cup of coffee and treat yourself and like just people watch, there's nothing wrong with that. And, plus, that'll get you out of the house, that'll get you into a new environment and you'll be able to shock your body a little bit.
Speaker 1:Where you're like this is out of my comfort zone and that's what we should be doing is like pushing ourselves out of our comfort zones, right yeah, and growing in different ways and improving our day-to-day life and, yeah, this is all so important and all of this stuff, like you're saying incorporating, like going to the temple or going to wherever you go to worship, wherever that might be that can all be incorporated in the individual's treatment plan. So I think you know individuals who are listening need to understand that it's not one or the other. Everything can be brought into their own healing right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you can do like little bits every day. It doesn't have to be necessarily like oh, I'm listening to this, I need to do something right now. Like I need to do this, this, this. Like incorporate everything.
Speaker 2:No, try to do one thing at a time, like, maybe, if you're listening to this and you're like I haven't taken care of myself yet, like I want you to ask yourself, first and foremost, how have you taken care of yourself today? What have you done that's just for you, not for anyone else, but for yourself. How do you take care of yourself usually, like what makes you happy? Once you figure out like what makes you happy, utilize, like, do that today. What is the one thing you want to do today that you know? You just want to do it.
Speaker 2:The way I look at it, I'm like, if I don't wake up tomorrow, I want to feel content that I was able to do what I wanted to do for myself today, like one thing, just one thing. It can be something really little, like maybe reading a, picking up that book that you bought, that you thought you would read one day, and just reading it, just read a chapter, read two pages. At least that's something you did today that you didn't do yesterday, but that was for yourself, that was just taking care of you, yeah, right, so it's like little things. That I think, like we forget along the way, is like we ourselves are important and if we can't take, you know, no one else is going to take care of us. We're. We're responsible to take care of ourselves, right?
Speaker 2:So what does that look like, what? What do you like to do? You know, no one's going to sit there and ask you oh Manpreet, what do you like, like, what do you enjoy? Right, you have to ask yourself those hard questions where you're like okay, but what have I done for myself today? What was it that was purely for myself? Did I get to eat my favorite lunch while I was at work, like? Did I buy something that I loved? You know, just something little where you're like, okay, I did that. That was purely selfishly for me.
Speaker 1:I feel like that's the piece that has gotten left behind in our society. Like you know, maybe because of the economic whatever you want to say the stressors that individuals may be facing in their life, that self-care piece has been really left behind and it's become kind of like a go go, go, go to work, do this, do that, and so a lot has gotten in the way of healthy self-care and but, like you said, you got to make that time.
Speaker 2:No, definitely, and you know, I like how you mentioned that. I think like, sometimes, like when I sit with my parents or my grandparents, I'm always listening to their stories of like how they were when they were growing up, and then I compare it to like how my life was when I was growing up. Obviously, there's so many differences, right, like, for instance, just where we grew up is different. Um, you know, they grew up in India and I grew up here and it's like, okay, well, I couldn't, I don't don't have a lot of my cousins here, so you know, they used to play outside their tv. For them was a privilege, but for us it's like, okay, it's there, you know, I have it on my phone. If I'm taking you know, I'm taking the train to work, I'm watching something on my phone or, like you know, I'm constantly just on my phone texting. So a lot of it. Like you, like, you're right, it's the new, it's the new technology age, right, where we're like, oh, we want to watch Netflix. Oh, it's our on our finger, on our fingertips, so we're just gonna watch it on our phone. Like you know what I mean. Like before it's.
Speaker 2:So you know, when you think about it in on average, how much time do you spend on TikTokiktok, scrolling aimlessly? And then what you see there is like you're like I wish I had that. You see, someone like an influencer will pop up and they're like showcasing their life. And you know we've heard it so many times that what you see on the screen is not 100 always true. Like there's always something behind the screen, right, you don't know the struggles that they went through to get to where they are, you don't know what they had to do. So you know, yeah, in that moment you sit there and you're like I wish that was my life, but that can be your life, or something similar can be your life. But if you take that, like you know, five minutes of scrolling becomes like an hour of scrolling. Well, that's an hour that you could have just put into yourself, your self-care. Yeah, yeah, right.
Speaker 2:And you know like I'm not trying to put everyone down by saying that, like I myself, sometimes I'll sit there and I'll I'll be like, okay, I'm only gonna scroll for five minutes. And for me, the five minutes turns into 45 minutes and by the time you know it, you're like like, well, I was supposed to go to sleep. Now I'm just like, right away, like what am I saying? So, like, it's okay if you're doing it, there's nothing wrong with it, but I think what everyone has to understand is it's in moderation. If you're doing it excessively, then okay, like, let's take some time for yourself. You know, maybe don't use the phone before bed, or, like you know, have the set those boundaries for yourself. That's what's more. Most important is like, maybe be like I'm only gonna scroll for 10 minutes and put a timer on and when the timer goes off, just be like not anymore and put your phone away. So it's those healthy boundaries. That's what you got to set for yourself, right?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I completely agree with you, and you know, if you're feeling like, you know you're not feeling that great, look at those things, right, like, are you on social media a lot. Are you finding yourself comparing yourself to everyone else and believing that what you see is the true story, when it might be completely different? Right, a person can be happy on you know, whatever it is their instagram, their tiktok, their facebook, whatever it is they can have a smile on there, but their reality might be completely different. We can all put a happy face on her. So, um, we can all put our highlight reels up. It's just understanding the reality of, uh, these, uh, social, uh networking sites that we use.
Speaker 1:And so, yeah, yeah, I like the points you made, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, drawing boundaries with technology and I feel like self-care sometimes requires more. Self-care is difficult sometimes. Right, it's not always easy, and I think you said it too, like you're not trying to say like, oh, you're doing it all wrong kind of thing. It's challenging for all of us, and I think it's challenging because the hustle culture and all of that and you know what we see online. So, yeah, um, any other points that you want to get in regarding that?
Speaker 2:yeah, it's um. You know I think you summed it up really nicely as well as, like you know, sometimes when you're on social media, like you're just you're, you can't help but compare your life to them. And you, you know, you're like like I want that, I want that and, trust me, like a big portion of social media is, it's a selling tool to you. I've worked in marketing, my background is in marketing and, like I used to, you know, I had to work for companies where I had to sell products to you. So I know how the algorithm works and I know everyone out there.
Speaker 2:You realize how it works. Like you just have to say the words. And it's so funny because it's happened to me so many times and I still get freaked out about it. I'll be talking about something with to my mom and the next thing I know on my phone it just shows me an advertisement and I'm like, okay, like that, you know, but that's that's what it is, it's all, it's all business. That's essentially. You're just stuck in a loop where there you say you want something, you know, you think it's going to make you happy if you get it, and then you see advertisements constantly about this product.
Speaker 2:Then you finally end up buying it, and then you're like, okay, like you move on to something else.
Speaker 1:So like obviously, the deeper issues, right, yeah, so as a community, rather than getting lost in, you know, trying to purchase different goods, purchase the nicest car, let's use as an example. Um, let's make um therapy a thing and improving mental health um a thing, rather than running to the store, the car dealership, um, yeah and we're not saying to go buy a car, that's not what we're saying.
Speaker 2:But, yeah, the general loop is you get stuck right, it's like a never-ending cycle, you know, and I do want to say, like, as much as like social media we can talk bad about it there is good to it as well. Like, don't get me wrong like it's a great way to, um, you know, stay in touch with your family and friends, who may not live in the same city or country as you, so that's, you know, it's nice to be a part of their life, right, so that's it. It has really good tools. Like there's some inspirational, like, um, you know, feeds that will come your way, you'll see, like, maybe a reel that's like coming your way, and it's like something that gives you that energy boost where you're like yeah, that makes sense. So, like, little things like that. I think that's in that sense, it's a good thing to have as well.
Speaker 1:It's not bad yeah, there's pros and cons. It's just finding balance with everything in life, right in everything in life. We can either have too much or too little. We got to find that balance with everything in life. Right in everything in life. We can either have too much or too little. We got to find that balance, that middle point, and that's where the boundaries come in right like set those healthy boundaries and, like you know, make it.
Speaker 2:set smart goals. We've heard, um, you know, since our elementary school days, talk the teachers talk about smart goals and you're like, yeah, yeah, whatever, but you know, if they're not wrong, set those smart goals for yourself. What? Where do you see yourself a year from today, six months from today, every year? Set something that you want to achieve for yourself and then work towards achieving it. It could be like, you know, you write down I want to be able to read five books this year, something as simple as that, right? So then, every day, you know, you read a couple, two chapters. You'll probably achieve your goal by the end of the year, right? So that's something that, again, that's like something little, but that's something you're doing for yourself, because you're setting a goal for yourself and you've achieved that goal. So that sense of pride that you have with it, no one else can feel that except you, and no one can take that away from you either, because you did that yourself and that's the most important, Like setting a goal, accomplishing it completely builds up your confidence.
Speaker 2:yes, yeah you know, and that that's all you have to look at is like where your life is right now and if you're unhappy with it, well, okay, what do you want to change about that six months from now? Set like short-term goals it doesn't have to be long-term, just that that short term and then work towards achieving them. And then ask yourself the tough questions is like how can I achieve them? What can I do to achieve them? And I think, like that's one um way I work in I work when I do, when I see my clients or, like you know, in therapy is that the modalities I use? Is I really enjoy the solution focused therapy, where it's like you know, I'll work with CBT and I'll do like mindfulness, self care and DBT, but it's more on what I'm trying to focus on.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're feeling this way, but like, what are our goals to achieve? Like, what do you want to achieve First of all through therapy? Like what would you like to see different in yourself six months from now? And then we work towards achieving that. And yeah, okay, you're feeling sad, you're feeling like all these emotions and it's good to feel them, so I allow my clients to sit with them and just feel them. But then we work towards okay, you're feeling this way now and something might have happened in the past to you know, get you there. But we can't change the past. But what we can do is how can we move forward from this? What can we do differently now? What is the one thing we can change now that you'll feel a little differently a week from now, two weeks from now? So that's kind of like what I believe strongly in and that's what I follow with all my clients, for my modalities as well.
Speaker 1:I follow with all my clients for my modalities as well. Okay, and Sukpreet, now that we're talking about your work in this field, what got you into this field? Like? Can you talk about your journey?
Speaker 2:Yeah for sure. So when I was in this is going back way a lot but I was in high school and I used to have um anxiety and I didn't realize, like in that moment, that this is something I struggle with. I think, like you know, I was just mad at myself because I could never um achieve like, uh, high mark, high grades. I used to, but I used to, like I remember I used to question myself and I used to put myself down and I was like, but you studied, like what are you studying if you can't do that? And like people thinking that when they think anxiety, they think, oh, like you know, her heart rates look so high, she's sweating. Yeah, those things happen, but there's way more to that than anything else. And I remember, like I, I sat down with my parents and I told them that, like you know, I, I can't control my feelings, like I go blank, I don't know anything, I, I just sit there and I'm like I don't understand this. And, like my heart, my heart rate does go high and it feels like my you know heart's about to rip open. Like you know, it's just, it's a scary moment to be in and you know, I'm so grateful for the parents I have, because they were super supportive and you know they took me to, like you know, my doctor, and then they diagnosed me with anxiety and you know, when I learned about it, I obviously freaked myself out and I was like this is so much, this is just too much, like I can't have this. What are people, what are my friends gonna say about this? Like, you know those common things. We talked about the. You know the stereotypes of like, oh my God, what's going to be labeled with anxiety? But you know they, so my doctors that when they told me they wanted to put me on medication and I told myself I will not go on medication, I will work on it myself, I will make sure that, like, I can control it and that you know I would not need a medication.
Speaker 2:So that's what it took a lot of self care and determination to be like, yes, I have this, but how can I make this better for myself? Yes, there's times, you know, I'll freeze when someone's talking to me or I won't know what to say. Like I'll just kind of like, you know, stare at them and I'm like, like you know, so a lot of it, you know, a lot of it, played a part in it. But then, you know, I slowly worked on it. I made myself, like you know, started like seeing these positive changes in myself and, you know, I was becoming the person that I had never been. But, you know, I became this person that's in front of you today.
Speaker 2:And then, during COVID, I think it really hit me that a lot of people out there were struggling with depression, anxiety, and that's when I kind of made up my mind and I was like, you know, I want to do something to help them. My life goal has been, if I can help one person in my life, I feel like I've achieved what my life is meant to be Like. I've achieved that goal and I've achieved everything. So when I like told my family, my parents, my parents were super supportive and they're like, well, you've always been so empath to, like you know, give as much support I could to like my colleagues, my friends and, you know, just without knowing it, I was practically like becoming a therapist without, like you know. So then, when I graduated, I was like I did finish my master's and I was like this is the life I want to do.
Speaker 2:I tried the business life Like I think I chose to do like business degree because everybody was going into business, they were doing accounting, but I was like I'll do something different. But you know, that didn't give me the contentment or it didn't make me feel like I was living up to my potential. And that's why, when I made the switch and I've been able to do what I'm doing, I feel that I feel happy with how my day went. I feel like I made a difference and I think for me that's like the most important and that's the most gratitude I can give to myself and to everyone around me is like supporting me through like different transitions that I've gone through, and just being there.
Speaker 2:And like now, I just want to like be able to give to people what my parents gave to me and I want to break those you know, barriers that put on mental health when it comes to South Asian communities, whether it be for a man or a woman. I want to like break that because, as much as we can say that women have, you know women go through depression, anxiety. So do men, right. So it's just like let's talk about it more, let's be more vocal about it and, like you know, know, I hope like that makes people comfortable so that they can talk about their struggles and, like you know, have that perception that, like this isn't a bad thing. Having, you know, anxiety, depression, it's not a bad thing. It doesn't define you. You can, you're stronger than that and you can work towards becoming that person that you knew yourself you were one time. So that's kind of like what I work towards and that's why I am in the field that I chose now beautifully said.
Speaker 1:Yes, thank you for sharing your story as well, and how can individuals reach you um? Do you want to share like where they can reach you for your services and yeah, yeah, um, so I am based right now out of Calgary, alberta.
Speaker 2:So, um, if you're in the Calgary area, um Calgary, chestermere, airdrie, like you know, you can come for the sessions in person, but I do provide a virtual all across Canada because I am like under the Canadian psychology, so I'm under CCPA as a Canadian certified counselor. So, if you know, if you want a virtual session and you live in BC, you can. You know you can reach out to me and we can get that set up. And to reach out to me, I actually have an Instagram page, which is sukpreettherapy, so you can follow me on that and send me a message on there. Or you can email me, which is, you know, sukpreettherapy at gmailcom and you can reach out to me and you know I offer a free 15 minute consultation.
Speaker 2:So we'll meet first for 15 minutes and we'll talk about, like you know, what your goals are for therapy, what you're hoping to achieve and what my practices and what, how I can help you. And then you take that away and you look at, okay, will she be a good fit for me? And then I evaluate will I be a good fit for them? And if the answer is yes, then we book our first session. So there is that. You know you can ask me any questions that you may have during that 15 minute consult. We can talk about whatever you know you would like to talk about, and then you get to make the decision that are we going to continue then. Are we going to continue?
Speaker 1:Wonderful. So if you're listening to this episode, sukpreet is an individual you can reach out to. Thank you, sukpreet, for sharing your knowledge, your expertise and your story today with me and the rest of the listeners today. So thank you so much. Do you have anything else that you might have missed?
Speaker 2:out or no. Thank you so much for having me. I like, truly enjoy any where I can bring awareness, I will take it. So thank you for giving me this platform to be able to talk to you about my mental health practice. So thank you. But, yeah, thank you to everyone listening and yeah, please, like, once you listen to this episode, just do something one thing today. That's just for yourself. It could be anything, just one thing.
Speaker 1:Yes, beautifully said. Just one thing, one self-care thing that you can do for yourself, and what a gift right it is to give yourself. You don't need to go out to the mall, you can just focus on a self-care activity. But thank you so much, supri, for coming on and yeah all right, all right.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much, thank you.
